Counseling for Perfectionism
Do you love to set and crush your goals…but feel anxious and stressed the entire time? Do you have an adventurous spirit…but avoid trying new things because you’re afraid you won’t be able to do them perfectly? Do you have trouble celebrating your “wins''?
You might be avoiding applying for a new job or asking for a promotion because you’re afraid you won’t be able to do it “right.” You might even avoid trying new things that interest you because you don’t want to look silly doing them. You struggle with fear of disappointing the people in your life. And you tend to find yourself in frequent stressful thought spirals that drive you to push harder and harder.
You might notice you have a hard time concentrating on tasks, or staying present when with your friends and family because you are hyper-fixated on how you look and sound to everyone else. You have trouble with appetite and are noticing you either don’t eat enough or stress eat, and you have always been highly critical of your appearance. You toss and turn when trying to sleep at night, replaying conversations you had that day over and over in your head, thinking about how you could have said things differently.
Being in a state of constant fear of failure has likely taken a hit on your immune system, so you might be feeling run down more often than not. Things like muscle aches and headaches feel pretty common for you.
Though it may feel like perfectionism dominates your life right now, we want you to know that it is possible to let go of the drive to be perfect and work through your fear. A trained therapist can help you to find peace with yourself and accept both your successes and your setbacks through holistic perfectionism treatment.
Does Anyone Enjoy Failing?
The drive to succeed is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be helpful in many situations and motivate us to take action. The problem with perfectionism, however, is that it’s driven by a fear of failure, not the drive to succeed, which is paralyzing. The feelings of disappointment, frustration, and resentment that may accompany a setback or failure are not pleasant or comfortable. It makes sense that many people will go to great lengths to try to avoid failure at all costs.
Because perfectionists and high achievers often receive praise for their successes and accomplishments, it can become a reward system in itself. A way of being seen and recognized, a way of feeling loved, which then makes it hard to see other ways to feel good. Self-worth is then tied to external sources, rather than internal sources. The more we receive recognition for our achievements and success, the easier it is to get stuck in this loop, making it hard to stop. This is why having an outside, unbiased perspective to help you identify and stop the cycle is so important.
The team at Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling takes a holistic approach, looking at all aspects of your life, helping increase your awareness of how you developed these patterns and offer you helpful strategies to facilitate positive change.
Overcome Perfectionism and Embrace Failure Through Holistic Treatment
The holistic approach at Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling will allow you to overcome your fear of failure by helping you restore balance and harmony to your mind, body, and spirit.
Our therapists use a supportive, empathic approach to understanding all aspects of your life and will then design a plan of action tailored to your specific needs. At Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling, we will work with you as a team to continue to identify and address areas in which you want to grow. We provide a safe, healing space that you will find conducive to allowing you to restore a sense of peace in your life.
We use a person-centered approach to our work with you, which means we place a high priority on the quality of our relationship. Because we believe you are the expert of your life, our approach allows you to have a say in your care. We are here to support you and facilitate change throughout every step of your journey.
Our team is trained in a variety of modalities, and may utilize components of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to help you recognize the connection between your fear of failure and drive for perfectionism and the thoughts, feelings, and actions that are a result of this thought pattern. CBT for perfectionism in particular can help you to better understand how being perfect is not helpful in all situations, and help you challenge all-or-nothing based thinking.
As you begin to learn more about the biology of stress and its impacts on the body, you’ll be more equipped with the tools you need to make a significant change in your overall health. When you have a strong awareness and understanding of how your body responds to stress, it is much easier to create and utilize the tools and skills you need to calm your nervous system and reduce the impact of stress overall.
In our work together, we will also draw from Eastern medicine to teach you a variety of simple skills like mindfulness, yoga, and meditation that will help lower the stress associated with perfectionism. These techniques are heavily rooted in nervous system regulation so that you can better manage the physical impact of fear and anxiety.
We may also use techniques based in Family Systems Theory to help you better understand the roots of your desire for perfection. Through this approach to perfectionism treatment you may be able to uncover specific life circumstances, such as your caregivers having high expectations of you, that may contribute to your drive for perfection.
We believe our holistic approach will help you overcome the fear, frustration, and self-criticism you may be experiencing as a result of perfectionism and we will be your cheerleaders in making the changes in your life that lead you to self-acceptance, self-compassion and joy!
Maybe you’re thinking about therapy for perfectionism, but you have some concerns…
What’s wrong with wanting to be perfect? I’m not sure I need to change
While it is nice to do things correctly, perfectionism can also hold you back. You may find yourself avoiding new things, feeling stressed or anxious if things don’t go as planned, or feeling extremely disappointed when you or others don’t meet your expectations. Therapy for Perfectionism can help you gain a better sense of the negative impacts perfectionism may be having on your life and equip you with the skills you need to make worthwhile change.
I’m not sure I can afford therapy for perfectionism
If you’re concerned about the financial aspects of therapy, think about the long-term expenses you may face if you don’t get the perfectionism treatment that you need. Think about how much money you might be spending numbing feelings of fear through food or alcohol. Think about how much money you will lose from taking time off of work as a result of stress-related illnesses. As with anything worthwhile, overcoming perfectionism requires an investment of time, money, and hard work. By getting the help you need now, you will be saving yourself from many more expensive issues later on.
What if I don’t do therapy the right way?
There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way for you to engage in therapy- therapy is a relationship between us and we will work together to strengthen and grow. The change you seek will take time to happen, and we’ll be here to encourage you to keep going throughout the process. Holistic therapy for perfectionism will allow you to start to feel more present in mind, body, and spirit and will eventually lead you to a place of self-love and self-acceptance. As you begin to trust your therapist you will learn to trust yourself, helping you to ultimately develop the confidence you’ve been seeking.
Discover and embrace yourself through therapy for perfectionism
If perfectionism has left you feeling afraid, stressed, or on edge, holistic treatment at Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling can reharmonize your mind, body, and spirit. To find out more about how we can help, contact us today to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation!
Please note that during COVID-19, we are offering both in-person and online therapy sessions.
How to get started
You’ll meet with one of our trained clinicians to discuss your needs, provide answers to any questions, and review our process and offerings.
Schedule online or reach out to request a consult