Are you feeling like you’re not enough on your own?
Do you have a constant fear of being abandoned by your partner, a friend, or a family member? Do you avoid asking people for help out of fear of upsetting them? Is it difficult for you to say “not” to other people?
You agonize over making a decision - possibly because you’re not even sure what you think or feel about various issues. Or maybe you find yourself putting aside your own needs and interests to instead do what someone else wants, only to feel annoyed and resentful after the fact. It’s possible that you’ve even changed your values and beliefs in order to appease someone else.
You might even feel disconnected from your body, almost as though your body and your mind are separate entities and as a result have become unaware of even the most basic body cues, like hunger and thirst.
You may be noticing that you have a pattern of getting into codependent relationships, and are wondering if it’s possible to have a relationship that is healthy.
And at this point, you really just wish you could be happy being you.
Although it may be difficult at first, we want you to know that yes, with a little bit of help, you can absolutely form healthier relationships and feel more confident about who you are.
Society seems to sabotage our ability to develop healthy relationships
Though the actual prevalence of codependency is unknown, it’s much more common than you may think. If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, are in a close relationship with someone that uses drugs or alcohol, or already struggle with anxiety and self-defeating thoughts, you may be more likely to develop codependent relationships.
Codependency typically starts to develop in childhood, but you may not realize that you’re in a pattern of codependency until you are much older. The media (think Sid and Nancy, Gone Girl, and even The Notebook) often romanticizes codependency and doesn’t always provide the best examples of healthy relationships. Your friends and family may not provide the foundations you need to cultivate happy, fulfilling relationships either. That can make it very challenging to learn how to set healthy boundaries, develop a positive self-awareness practice, and ultimately engage in mutually satisfying relationships as an adult.
At Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling, our skilled clinicians can help guide you through this process by looking at your situation holistically to allow you to better understand how and why you engage in codependent relationships.
Learn to cultivate healthy relationships through holistic codependency treatment
Looking at your struggle with codependency through a holistic lens will help you to better understand how your patterns of relating to yourself and others affect your mind, body, and soul.
Our caring team will collaborate with you to create a plan of action that will help you feel empowered and able to create change. We will take the time to really learn your story so that we can walk alongside you in the sometimes difficult journey to independence and developing the healthy relationships you desire.
For folks struggling with relationships, we use a person-centered approach to therapy, which encourages you to be an active participant in your care. This is a nonjudgmental, compassionate form of therapy that views you as a whole person with a complex, rich inner life that deserves care, respect and the ability to authentically show up in mind, body, and spirit for yourself as well as others.
As part of our work together we may also use components of psychodynamic theory to look at experiences and relationships from your past that may be contributing to your current behavior. You may not be consciously aware of how these past experiences impact your current actions, and through holistic psychodynamic treatment we can bring this awareness of mind, body, and spirit to your consciousness.
If you and your partner are both trying to work through codependency in your relationship, we may incorporate some couples therapy in our work together too. Couples work can assist you and your partner in developing and practicing healthy patterns of communication in your relationship. To learn more about our approach to couples work, click HERE <link to couples therapy landing page>.
We also use a blend of other modalities to help you increase self-awareness, identify how your thoughts impact your perception of and behavior in relationships, and to equip you with the mindfulness skills you need to notice and change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors related to codependency that may be harming your relationships.
Through our work together, you’ll develop the tools you need to overcome your fear of being abandoned, learn to be vulnerable, and trust those who genuinely care about you. And by utilizing powerful mindfulness techniques, we can teach you how to finally give yourself the validation and love you may be seeking from others for so long.
Healthy relationships do exist - both with yourself and with others. With the support and guidance from the Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling team, you can cultivate the healthy, nurturing relationships you desire for your life.
Perhaps you’ve thought about codependency treatment, but you’re not sure it’s for you…
How am I supposed to be vulnerable with a therapist when I don’t even know myself?
Starting therapy might seem overwhelming at times. It takes a lot of strength to sit in front of a stranger and allow yourself to be open with them. Remember - just getting into a therapist’s office, whether online or in-person, is the first step. We’ll guide you through the rest of the process, and make the space as comfortable and safe as possible for you so that you gradually learn to trust and become vulnerable with your therapist, which in turn will help you learn how to practice vulnerability and trust in other relationships in your life as well.
I’m not sure codependency therapy fits into my budget.
Though you may be worried about the cost of getting help for codependency recovery, consider also the long-term cost of not getting therapy. Think about the amount of time, money, and energy you’ve already spent (and will continue to spend) dedicated to the needs of others and not your own. How much of your life is truly spent focused on what others want at the expense of yourself? In the long run, therapy can give you the tools you need to have more time, money and energy to focus on things that are most important to you!
What if I’m too “broken” to have healthy relationships?
Your past relationships may have left you feeling skeptical about the possibility of ever having a relationship that is healthy. It’s very common for people that have struggled with codependency to blame themselves for their issues in relationships. Know that you are not the only one facing this challenge, and it doesn't mean there’s something wrong with you. Therapy can help you simply unlearn harmful thought patterns and behaviors, get to know yourself better, practice self-compassion, and identify and set healthy boundaries moving forward.
Let us help you get to know you
If codependency has left you uncertain of who you are or you feel like your self-esteem is suffering as a result of your relationships, holistic treatment at Be Your Best Self & Thrive Counseling can help! Let us teach you how to create a healthier relationship with yourself and others. To get started, contact us today to schedule your free 15-minute consultation!
**Please note that during COVID-19, we are offering both in-person and online therapy session